I want the numbness to go away. I want to stop loving you. I want to stop spending eight hours in the bathrooms of fancy hotels, I want to stop crying in the fucking glass showers. It’s an endless battle of pride, and frankly, I’m losing. I don’t have an ounce of dignity left. Is this what you do when you love a person that doesn’t love you back? You start to forget who you are, you start to forget that you were completely fine before you met him. My mouth feels like some kind of fucking reminder on how you used to fuck it. You were pouring gasoline over my body and you didn’t even leave me your favourite lighter, the one with a red dragon that you always used to play, you just clicked it open and walked away. That’s what you did to me. That’s what you’ve always done to me. And what makes me raving mad is that I volunteered to give my body and soul and you didn’t want my soul. You only wanted my body while you wanted to give her a diamond ring.
do you ever just want to hold someone in your arms for about 37 years